A Wandering Mind is An Unhappy Mind

Daydreaming, The Flow State and The Beginner's Mind... and Sydney Sweeney

Wandering dogs and meandering thoughts

I was walking with my dog Jackson this afternoon. We walk on suburban roads that get kind of busy. Jackson is always on a leash. Most times we have our act together. He doesn’t walk too far in front and neither do I. This is a soft leash. It is a happy leash. Other times, Jackson sees something that he wants to chase. Or eat. This is usually something disgusting. Or something that scares him. And then the leash tightens.

Jackson has only gotten off the leash twice. Both times he was a puppy and both times were scary. He took off and thought it was a game. My wife called me and I ran the ¼ mile to them. Full speed. In slippers. With cheese (the only sure way to prevent certain untimely doggie demise). You see, the leash might be annoying but being alone and lost is no fun. Jackson likes his belly full and he likes to sleep in bed with mommy and daddy. Jackson is spoiled rotten. Yet, I have to wonder if our own minds are just as spoiled. When I sit to meditate, I intend a singular focus, yet my thoughts bolt like a dog after a rabbit—chasing memories, rehearsing old arguments. And then there’s Sydney Sweeney.

It’s no different when I’m not meditating, but maybe I’m not quite as aware of it then. Most times in everyday life I’m not keeping track of my internal conversation and perhaps it takes someone having to ask a question twice for me to realize that my attention slipped the leash. Maybe I have to walk into a room and forget why I came there.

Are we happiest when we daydream?

Is it better to focus on reality, as drab and dreary as it is? Or should we instead think happy thoughts? Should we be pumping ourselves up with self-help aphorisms about being the best we can be?

To find out, Killingsworth and Gilbert conducted thought-provoking research in the journal Science in 2010. They did some of the first empirical research on this, having 2,200 volunteer subjects rate their levels of happiness from 0 to 100 and choose whether they were doing one of 22 activities. Finally, they answered a question about the degree to which their mind was wandering (Are you thinking about something other than what you’re currently doing?). This question was rated as:

• No

• Yes - pleasant

• Yes - neutral

• Yes - unpleasant

The results of the Killingsworth study, which have now been replicated in other studies, were expectable in some ways but surprising and counter-intuitive in others:

• Mind wandering is constant: It occurs in about half the samples. The lowest percentage happened during sex.

• The task had almost no bearing: You were as likely to daydream during work as you were while watching sports. It also had almost no impact on the pleasantness of the topics towards which people’s minds wandered.

• Wandering equals less happiness: People were less happy when their minds were wandering than when they were focused. This happened whether the activity was pleasant or not, and whether people daydreamed about pleasant topics (Sydney Sweeney) or not.

• Focus is the best predictor: Whether you were daydreaming or not was a better predictor of your happiness than the task you were engaged in. There was a greater chance of being unhappy if you were unfocused, even if you were doing a task considered fun.

Focus and the Flow State

In the 1990 book Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi explores the state of “flow”—a period of intense concentration and enjoyment where an individual becomes completely absorbed in an activity. This “optimal experience” occurs when a person’s skills are perfectly balanced against a significant challenge, leading to a loss of self-consciousness and a distorted sense of time.

Killingsworth and Gilbert in 2010 did not specifically discuss the concept of flow, but I think this explains their findings. When we are engaged with an activity and focus on it completely, we have a much greater chance of being happy and content.

Csikszentmihalyi talked about challenge, but I would also here invoke the Japanese concept of Beginner’s Mind or Shoshin. Derived from Zen Buddhism, and particularly popularized in the West by Shunryu Suzuki, it refers to dropping our preconceptions and approaching a subject with openness, eagerness, and a lack of bias—just as a beginner would. When your attitude is one of openness and exploration rather than merely confirming that the experience meets expectations, there is a greater chance of becoming absorbed into the experience, having your thoughts conform to the contours of the experience, and entering flow. You can approach an experience with wonder even if it is familiar.

• A Mind Off the Leash is a lost mind—scared, wandering, and at risk.

• A Mind on a Short Leash is a strained mind—rigid, anxious, forced and rebellious.

• A Mind on a Soft Leash is a present mind—guided by Shoshin, open to the Flow, and truly at home.

The Practice

• Learn to be aware of where your mind is.

• Create the intention of focusing on what you are presently doing.

• Learn to approach as many phenomena as possible with Shoshin… The Beginner’s Mind.

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